Valentine's Day

 Rejoicing in all that waiting has taught me . . .

I have learned a lot about love being single. I think that the longing for love in my own life makes me see love more clearly in the lives of others. There are people in my life that would say that my expectations are too high, but I know that love is not easy. I know that love, above all, requires commitment. I know that there are days when it's hard to like the other person. I know that there are days when you feel abandoned and mistreated. I know that it's hard to always sacrifice, to speak with respect, to give when you feel like you have nothing left.

But I know that love is wonderful. It is wonderful in its ability to hold you up under so much sorrow. It is wonderful in its constant devotion. It is wonderful in its desire to be around even after so many years.

I see love all around me. But most vividly in the relationships of my family. My older sister and her husband have that once-in-a-lifetime, romantic, passionate relationship that you think exists only in the movies.  They have been together since junior high, but they are more in love today than I ever thought would be possible. They understand and accept each other in incredible ways. Among the laughter and love has been great sorrow. I have watched them love each other as they grieve great loss. There really are men in the world who climb up into the hospital bed to hold you as you weep, and my brother-in-law is one of them. Their love speaks to a dependence that makes you strong and a comfort that makes you honest.

My twin sister has a "don't know where it came from" love story. Hers is a relationship orchestrated by the hand of God in every way. Theirs is a relationship seeped in respect. I have learned so much about honoring and bringing respect to another person through them. I'm not sure I have ever heard them say a negative thing about each other. You can see their love when they look at each other – their eyes say, "You amaze me." I watch my brother-in-law and know that I am seeing what it really means to cherish and protect someone. I watch my sister and I see a Proverbs 31 woman who brings glory to her husband in all of the ways she serves her household.

My parents have a love that doesn't always make sense. But it is a love that has stood the test of time and trials. It is a love of deep commitment. I have learned from my parents that you choose everyday to love someone. It is not always a feeling. It is always a choice. Theirs is a love of sacrifice and of looking for and loving the good in another person. I see in them the ability to grow together, to change together, to live life together despite the fact that it doesn't always make sense. I don't think many obtain the depth of love that I see in my parents.

My brother's love story is just beginning. He loves deeply and feels intensely even though he doesn't always show it. His love is loyal and gentle. And he loves in such a way that makes you feel wanted and enjoyed. Their love is new and full of joy and excitement and wonder. It teaches me to remember the hope of pure love.

Love is all around me. In the people around me, in the relationships around me, in the way that others love me. And I see it differently because I don't yet have a "love" to call my own. So while love for me is not an easy thing it is still there. It is all these pictures that combine to create a masterpiece that keeps unfolding and revealing another beautiful layer. It is not simple. It is not complex. The love that I see around me is the real thing.

That's what I'm waiting for. Not a fling. Not a quick fix. But a deep understanding and commitment that is bigger than differences and stronger than sorrow. Love that knows you and keeps on loving anyway.